It often seems that people are driven by expectations and live clichés. In the process, they might be chasing someone else's dreams - and wonder why they won't fulfill them
Over the years, I have met many exchange students or tourists coming to Germany. Many of them made it a point to go to Oktoberfest. They were often surprised when I told them that I, as a German, had never been. It never interested me, and frankly, I feel like it is more for tourists than for natives. What is so special about getting drunk in stuffy tents with thousands of others, yelling songs that annoy me unless I am seriously drunk?
I might be overthinking the issue, however. It might not be about the activities themselves. I am naive enough to think that one should always and anywhere do what makes them happy. Alas, many other people think that they should do things just so that they can say they've done it. Take a picture of it as evidence. Post it online. Wait for replies. That's what matters.
So, of course, if you go to Germany, you have to go to Oktoberfest! Why? Because that is what you do!
When in Rome...
When you go to Paris, don't miss the Eiffel Tower. If you go to San Francisco, cross the Golden Gate Bridge. In New York, you have to go to Times Square. In Cairo, make sure to stop by the pyramids. And in Dubai? Ride on a camel, go on a desert safari, and go to the top of Burj Khalifa. We do so thinking that we are doing something special, missing the point that we do the same as everybody else. Our strives to make us unique render us ordinary. So why do we want to be like everybody else?
Maybe we are just not creative - or brave - enough to come up with something useful and fulfilling ourselves. Why brave? Because while it is easy to do what everybody does, it takes courage to be different. Of course, the issue is not just restricted to traveling. How many decisions in life do we make independently, being convinced that this is what we want? And how many do we make because we (subconsciously) feel like this is what is expected of us?
The main problem obviously is that we are at risk of never being happy and satisfied. There are always other places yet to be seen, other activities to try out, other experiences to be made. I heard about it or saw it somewhere. Before I knew about it, I didn't even know what I was missing. Now, I tell myself that I can't be content until I have reached this elusive goal. We make it impossible for ourselves to truly be happy with what we have, where we are, who we are with. After all, what else am I missing, right?
And what about our looks? I am afraid that we are failing at telling our little girls that they are beautiful the way they are. Why else would so many young women try to change their appearance, not only with make-up, but also with injections or even surgeries? Again, they have the urge to not be themselves. They are trying to fit the image someone else might have of them. Likewise, with this kind of mindset they might never be satisfied with the way they look no matter how much they change.
Chasing someone else's Bubbles
It is as if we are chasing bubbles. We are lured in by their shiny appearance. Tragically, as soon as we reach them, they burst - and we feel empty until we can chase the next. But no matter how many bubbles we chase, they are not our own, so none of them will fill the hole we feel burning inside of us.
It might sound like a contradiction coming from me since I just moved to Dubai, but the way I see it, I came for different reasons. I didn't come to chase someone else's bubbles. I came to create the soapy detergent necessary for even making bubbles. There will be bubbles, but they will be mine. No matter what they appear to be, it doesn't make sense for someone else to try to chase them. We'll only know what satisfaction truly feels like once we create something personal and unique.
So maybe I should ride a camel in Germany and go to Oktoberfest in Dubai. After all, who would expect that? I have been facing difficulties for being different all my life. While it might be frustrating at times, it has one major benefit: I know that what I do is not driven by expectations. It is driven by what I deem to be right. I am content. I am at peace with myself.
As much as I want you to feel the same, if you don't, the question is why? Who is forcing you to make your decisions?
Be brave.
Be unique.
Be different.
Not for the world.
For yourself.
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